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"Summertime is Good Manners Time"
By Holly Beth Moncher

What better time for young children to practice good manners than the summertime vacation from pre-school and elementary school? This is really the perfect time to work on good manners in the home. Children always learn best when they’re having fun -- and manners can actually be fun when rewards for saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” are made a game for the entire family. Children as early as age two can be taught to say the “magic words” in order to receive rewards such as stickers, stars, or special summertime treats.

And with the usual summer travel to new places, meeting new people and visiting family, this is also the right time to learn ‘greeting’ manners. Children often get shy around their parents’ friends, and knowing the right thing to do puts children at ease around grownups. Part of this is to stand tall, look the person in the eye with a smile on your face, offer your right hand, and give a firm handshake. Very often all the kids have to say is “hi” or “hello.”

Meals are another family activity that can benefit from the free time of summer vacation. Without busy schedules of school and extracurricular activities making the days so hectic, breakfast, lunch or dinner in the summer are the perfect opportunities to concentrate on manners at the table and getting everyone together to share a meal. The slower pace of summer is ideal, often outside at a picnic table, to catch up on the family’s activities.

"Grandparents Are The Greatest "
By Holly Beth Moncher

“An underused resource for many moms these days are grandparents. It’s true that young mothers make use of the grandparents for babysitting or just filling in – but I’m talking about letting your children get to really know their grandparents and letting them become part of your children’s lives.

My grandmother, on my mother’s side, was special to me because I never knew my other grandparents. When I was a little girl, I couldn't wait for her to come to our house. From upstairs in my bedroom, I could smell her perfume, “Lillies of the Valley,” the minute she arrived. She was a short, round, powdered-face lady with a soft smile of pink lipstick. Her hair was always in a French twist with many hairpins to hold her silver-gray hair in place. I remember her patience, her quiet ways, and her willingness to spend hours reading to me or playing with me.

If you realize that ‘grandparents are great parents,’ you’ll get the help you need … and you’ll also create rich, memorable experiences for your children.”

"Let’s be Gracious at Grandma’s "
By Holly Beth Moncher

“Holiday time is the perfect occasion to start traditions and to make manners important in family life.  Honoring grandparents needs to be taught and practiced, and there is no better time than at a holiday dinner when the family gets together.

As hosts, the grandparents should ask each family member to dress in holiday clothes. The grandfather or oldest male is seated at the head of the table and the grandmother or hostess at the other end of the table.  As soon as the hostess picks up her napkin to place it on her lap, that is a signal for everyone at the table to do so, too.  Many families say a blessing before the meal to give thanks for the meal as well as for each other.

Whether everyone eats “family style” or whether the meal is served, it is important to wait until everyone has their food in front of them before the meal begins.  As everyone begins to eat, it might be a good time for the grandparents to begin a conversation at the table and to teach young children to feel confident about speaking in front of others during the meal.

Hopefully the parents have taught their children the proper way to hold their utensils.  If necessary, the grandparents can gently suggest using the utensils properly at the start of the meal.  As the meal progresses, the pace should be relaxed and not rushed. Honor the cook or whoever prepares the meal by enjoying the food and complimenting all the helpers.

At the end of the meal, the children should be taught to ask to be excused and their napkins placed back on the table in a loose, casual fold.  Asking children to take their plate to the kitchen is so helpful, and it is another way to let children feel part of the dining tradition.”